My 100th

We live in a world of balance.

Without darkness, how would we recognize light? Without sorrow, how would we appreciate joy? Without despair, why would we treasure hope?

It is these contrasts that inspire the most passionate and profound experiences. In the world and in ourselves, there exists a never-ending battle between these conflicting ideals. Every decision we make, every choice we face, is but a skirmish between these opposites. Just as we benefit and reap the fruits of these world's 'positives' so must we face and withstand its 'negatives'.

But the presence of a counterpoint to everything good should not deter us in the pursuit of meaningful lives. On the contrary, the best things in life come as a direct result of our efforts to overcome the adversities fate deals us.

Courage is a treasured and much needed quality. But it is not to be confused with mere bravery or recklessness. True courage cannot manifest itself in the absence of fear; it lies in doing what must be done even when terror grips the heart and chills the soul. Thus, without the capacity for cowardice there can be no potential for courage.

Commitment is another virtue whose worth stems from overcoming its counterpoint. Commitment is not commitment when it is easy, for then you are only doing what you like. Commitment is strongest not in the absence of doubt, but in spite of it. The same can be said for trust.

Love is perhaps one of the best displays of this truth. Adversity and distance destroys superficial love but strengthens great ones. The same gust of wind that will snuff out a candle will only feed a bonfire. True love is tested not during fair weather but during harsh, cruel storms.

We are an imperfect, flawed race. Capable of such horrible cruelties to each other, ourselves, and the world we live in. But that very same imperfection also brings with it a hope for redemption. The triumph of your spirit, and the true realization of your potential shall come not when you hone your finest gift, but when you master your greatest fault.

Lonely in the Saltmines

I'm finally working! A contributing member of society. A roaring rodent ready to join the urban rat race. A.. uhm.. sorry ran out of metaphors.

So here I am in this building in Ortigas, typing away on a company laptop (that I get to take home) - by far the only real perk I'm getting right now. Well beggars can't be choosers so they say, and since I'm not a graduate (yet), I guess my choices in profession isn't really as wide as I would like it to be. It was either this or a night shift job as tech support (aka: comp repairman) which would actually pay better but offers nil in experience.

I opted for the seemingly more challenging role of Web developer for Sagada Solutions, where I would be trained in Ruby on Rails, and web development using Java. And for the past week, I've been doing just that, creating my own test website, reading eBooks, and watching screencast training vids. Oh, and did I mention that I'm usually alone in the office?

Yup, they forgot to mention that I would be the ONLY employee most of the time. Never really though of myself as a people person, mind you but it gets pretty lonely being alone after about 6-8 hours of having only Yahoo's smiley face as company. Hopefully, they'll hire some new guys soon so the place would start feeling more like an office than an isolation cell with air conditioning and a laptop.

The job itself hasn't even started yet, I think. We're handling this project for Directory Philippines Incorporated, but since the site's actually up and running already, I have to balance learning RoR and familiarizing myself with the project's source code. No easy task when working with a language you've only been using for a week.

This isn't what I had in mind when I signed up, I'll admit. I always thought I'd be working in a plush office in some fancy skyscraper, with my own cubicle adorned with pics and other cute nothings, chatting away with my coworkers as I do my stuff for the day.

Maybe it'll take some time to get used to this. It's not as bad as it seems, actually.

It's just that when I signed up to slave away in the Saltmines, I always though I'd have company, y'know?

Supernova

On this island of you and me
I give my lovin' in the shadows of a swaying palm tree
All i need is a piece of you
To make it right just in time to watch the sun go down

You're the sweet taste in my mouth
By this tingling may i hold your hands
The night is ours if you come with me
You give me a kiss and then suddenly..

Everywhere is music and we're dancing away

Everybody knows you're shimmering
A star that lights the sky
To guide us through the dark
And lead the way..

..to Supernova Skies

I know there's a truth in you
Finding out what it means is like a dream come true
In the shine of your smile
Your shimmering, my everything, lighting up the night

Taking super dust in the sky
In your head there is a different tune
All the groovy sounds that you have inside
Just let them out and then you'll see

Everywhere is music and we're dancing away

Everybody knows you're shimmering
A star that lights the sky
To guide us through the dark
And lead the way..

..to Supernova Skies

Happy Valentine's Day, Baby!!

Click me, Crissy.

Make the World go Round

Listen-worthy Lyrics:

1. "Why'd you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you. Must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well."

-Imogen Heap, Say Goodnight and Go

2. "The honeysuckle dances that you showed me. For seven days in June, I wasn't lonely. You never gave me time to say 'I love you'. " (the whole song's good, it was so hard to pick just one line to feature)

-Jamiroquai, Seven Days in Sunny June

3. "I wanted to play, I wanted to stay, I wanted to love you. I'm only this far and only tomorrow leads my way."

-Dave Matthew's Band, Number 41

4. "Well if this ain't love... why does it feel so... why does it feel so... why does it feel so... why does it feel so good?"

- DJ Spiller feat. Sophie Ellis Bextor, Groovejet

5. "If you're feeling tired of the bumpy ride, and the roads all lead you away | from the city life and the phony smiles, don't forget | that home's where you stay." ( borabeachchillaxers, i give you you anthem)

- Aya, Sean

6. "Gettin' high just to pass the time, music and wine were the only friends of mine. Making love just to have a laugh, music and wine were the only friends I had." (sexy sexy beat)

- Blue Six, Music and Wine

7. "I'm thinkin' of you and the things you do to me...that make me love you, now I'm living in ecstasy."

- Paul Weller, Thinking of You

8. "I badly, badly need to burn. Sand and the sea meet in between. Fire and ice. You and I."

- Up Dharma Down, We Give in Sometimes

P?

Ok. I take it back. I owe that song nothing but a wasted morning.

Let's start at the beginning: My girlfriend has this friend who invited us to a night at Embassy. Because of the malnourished state of my wallet, I was ready to decline until I heard the words:

PVIP

My first question of course was what the hell was the P in PVIP. Having had the regrettable pleasure of chilling at Embassy's insanely overpriced VIP room (200 bucks a shot, 100 bucks a beer), curiosity was the only thing that kept me from promptly feigning a sudden bout of diarrhea or tamaditis.

P, it turns out meant 'Premiere'. Wow. I could only guess how much money Tim Yap makes because of that word.

As I was contemplating the sheer idiocy of paying 5 times the normal going price of SML, I realized she was smiling so innocently that she might as well have worn a shirt that said "I'm saving the punchline for when you're buttered up."

Open Bar!!!

And the rest was drowned in a haze of flashing lights, scantily clad promo girls, and some exquisitely mixed house music.

The only problem was I had a 9:00 am class the next day and I had no more free cuts left. So to make sure I woke up on time, I set my clock radio to turn on at almost capacity volume at 7:00 am, which was no easy task when the room was spinning.

And gloriously, the song Bro by Blue Ketchup came flowing out of my radio at 7:00. Gently lifting me from my stupor into wakefulness with its oddly familiar melody. After a cold shower, 2 cups of coffee and 4 chicken nuggets, I ventured out in the Accord into the craggy streets of Intramuros Manila. Now, force of will, caffeine and chicken isn't much to go on, but I made to school anyway...only to find that my prof wants to have his class at 10.

Sad, dejected, and highly fatigued, I let myself be dragged by my blockmate RJ to a nearby carinderia to have a proper breakfast of sinigang broth, lechon kawali, and toyomansili.

I came back to find a note posted on the classroom door:

COE451L - C1:
No Classes Today

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bro!

Slumberless

Huling issue ko na sa TNB.

Parang kahapon lang inanounce na ako ang bagong EIC. Ngayon patapos na ang termino ko bilang 'Kingpin' (c/o Venz and company). At sabi nga nila: Everything is always clearer when you look at in hindsight. Ano nga ba ang maipagmamalaki ko?

Nung nag-gastro kami, sinabi ko sa aking mga staffers na nawalan na ako ng pag-asa sa mga Mapuan. Maraming contributing factors sa pananaw kong ito, pero ang talagang tumatak sa isipan ko ay yung nangyari kay Kuya Gudo. Masakit mang sabihin, pero nang matanggal sha, parang namatay din ang isang bahagi ng Builder.

Iba yung Builder na pinasukan ko sa Builder na pinamumunuan ko ngayon.

Dati, para silang pamilya. Magbabarkada talaga. Nung probi pa lang ako, inggit na inggit ako sa closeness nilang lahat. Kumpletos rekados. May mabait, may kupal, may banal, may manyakis, may bading, may astig, etc etc. Maiinggit ka talaga pag bagong salta ka lang (tulad ko nun).

Para sa ken ang glory days nung staff pa lang ako e yung kumpleto pa sila Kuya Ace, Gudo, Ray Paul at RJ, tsaka sila Ate Ja, Anna, Grace at Janiel. Para kang umuwi pag tumambay ka sa opisina. At medyo nagets ko yung sikreto: Iba ang bonds ng mga magkabatch.

Nung medyo madami nang nalagas, actually until sa batch ko umabot yun (ako na lang ang natitira), si Kuya Ace na lang yung naging simbolo nung batch nila. Kaya nga enjoy na enjoy ako pag kasama namin sila Ramon at Jopia. Para uli akong junior staffer na nakikipag pusoy dos kanila kuya RJ at Gudo. Iba kasi talaga yung humor. Oo, bastusan na kung bastusan yung dating. Pero yun yung tipo ng familiarity na naaabot mo lang pag may kumpletong tiwala ka sa mga kasama mo. Isang bagay na hindi pwedeng ipilit o ipeke.

Sa palagay ko, malaking bagay sa pagiging masaya ng opisina ay ang presence ng mga estudyanteng Builder ang first priority. Gaya nila Kuya Ace, Gudo, at Ate Jaja. Sa sobrang gusto ko nga ng ganong klase ng atmosphere, medyo nag pabaya din ako ng konte. Naging medyo happy-go-lucky. Ang mentality kasi dati, pag Builder ka, pangalawa na lang yung pagiging estudyante mo. Infectious yung ganung klase ng pagiisip. May exclusivity na kasi. Napaka liit na porsyento lang ng mga Mapuan ang makararanas neto.

Tandaan nyo mga staffers, hindi importante kung sino't ano ka pag pasok mo sa TNB. Ang importante ay kung ano anong klase ng tao ka dahil naging bahagi ka ng opisina.

Sa susunod na batch, obvious naman na walang gago. Kaya medyo nahirapan kami ni Kuya Ace na i-maintain yung closeness. Di ko sinasabing kailangang ipagpaliban muna ang pagaaral para lang sumaya ang opisina. Tandaan nyo, lahat ng Builder nagiging adik sa klase pag malapit nang grumaduate. Nahalalata ko lang talaga na maliban sa opisina, marami pang ibang bagay na nakaprioritize sa taas ng TNB yung next batch sa amin. Kung talento din lang ang paguusapan, wala naman akong masasabi sa batch 2005. Maayos naman ang trabaho nila at wala naman akong nakaumpugan ng ulo. Para nga lang may kulang na hindi ko alam.

Sana wag mawala ang spirit ng pagiging Builder sa inyo. Pasensya na kung hindi ko naipamalas sa inyo yung napagdaanan kong saya dati. Alam kong hindi ito excuse pero mahirap mangipluwensya kung mas marami yung dapat matinag kesa dun sa nangtitinag. Ika nga ni Kuya Ace, 'wag sana kayong pumayag na sa batch nyo mamatay ang TNB'. Dadagdagan ko yun:

Wag sana kayong pumayag na lumipas ang panahon nyo sa Builder nang hindi naipapasa ang diwa nito sa mga susunod sa inyo.

Kung wala man akong maipagmamalaki sana, sana man lang, natutunan ninyo sa kin, kahit kaunti lang, kung pano talaga maging Builder.

Hindi ang papel ang bumubuhay sa opisina...

kundi kayo.